A Comparison Of My Daughters: Age 4

I'm going to do that thing that no mother should ever do: compare my children.  (To each other, not to anyone else's children...)

For the last few months I've been amazed by Rose and all the things she's up to.  So much so that I am constantly comparing her (in my mind, of course) with how Emma was at her age.  They are almost complete polar opposites.  It's astounding to me.

Emma at 4 - With 1 year old Rose peeking out the window.

Emma was always my quiet girl.  Well, once she got over being the baby that cried ALL THE TIME.  She was never a chatty kid.  She's 7 now and she's more chatty than before but still very content to sit and listen to what's going on around her.

Rose, on the other hand, was a quiet, easy-going baby, and now she never stops talking.  Just yesterday we watched Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, and she talked through the whole thing.  "Who is that?"  "Where are they going?"  "When does Harry get his owl?"  "Is that person going to teach them?"  "That's a lot of children!" and so on.  I actually had to walk away, she was way too distracting!

Rose at 4 - always playing

The junior kindergarten experience is vastly different between the two girls.  To be fair, kindergarten education has changed since Emma started.  Rose is now having full-day everyday class where Emma went every other day and alternating Fridays.  Regardless, I think they would have had different experiences without that change.  They are vastly different kids!

Rose is now "air writing" everything she sees everywhere.  People's shirts, billboards and signs anywhere, and if words show up on tv.  She is so interested in letters (and numbers) and especially the ones in her name.  We have to trace words in every book we look at and she talks about the letters and the sounds and all that "academic" stuff all the time.  Emma never was interested in letters the same.  It was a struggle to "work" at school stuff with her.  Now (at 7) Emma likes words and reading and all that, but at 4 she had no interest.

The other big difference I'm seeing is the after school conversations.  Emma always told us she never did anything at school and it was "boring."  Rose, on the other hand, will talk for ages about who was at school and what they did and who was mean and all that.  I don't always understand what she's talking about, but boy does she talk!  She loves her class and her teachers and it really shows.  Not that I think Emma didn't enjoy her days then but she would rarely talk about it without considerable prodding from us parents.

I find it so fascinating that two little people who sprung from the same gene pool can grow and learn in completely different ways.  Life is a constant social experiment, especially when kids are involved.

Do we treat the girls differently?  Likely.  They are different people with different needs.  Rose needs the affection and cuddles and constant physical contact (especially when she's tired) while Emma is content to colour quietly or watch videos or movies alone, and without asking a million questions about what's going on.

We are fortunate that despite their differences (or because of them?) they are fast friends.  We don't really have "real" fights around the house.  Well unless they are with us parental people.  Sure, feelings get hurt (more often Rose's) but Emma knows how to work things out and give in to Rose when she's about to have a meltdown.

I'm intensely curious to see where the girls go from here.  Will Rose be fluently reading by age 5 1/2, due to this early interest in letters?  Will they stay emotional (and verbal) counterbalances to each other?  This raising kids business is way more interesting (and challenging!) than I ever thought.

Share your household's dynamics with me.  I love hearing other families observations of their kids and their differences (or similarities).  Post your comments below for me to marvel over!

Last Day of School - And An Awesome Compliment

Today is Emma's last day of grade 1.  She is not as excited as I thought she'd be.  I'm excited for her.  I think, perhaps, she will miss her friends, as her school encompasses most of the city (she's in Catholic French Immersion and there's only one in town.)

Rose was mad she didn't get to
go to school on Emma's first day
(Sept 2014)

We've had some trials and tribulations with her schooling this year.  Her mid-term report card was less than stellar - both the "grades" (checkboxes actually) and the comments from the teacher (which were not very helpful).  Luckily we worked with the school to overcome some of the issues we perceived (sometimes incorrectly).

She started "reading group" and is now much more interested in reading, thankfully!  (I'm a voracious reader so I can't imaging my children not liking to read!!)  And I think the rest of it was just that she wasn't ready yet.

Transitioning from play-based Kindergarten to "regular class" in grade one has got to be difficult for these kids - and for the teachers who are used to kids coming from the previous style of Kindergarten.  Rose is going to start Kindergarten this fall, and she will get the full experience of all day, play based; whereas Emma started when it was still every other day, so their experiences will be different.  I'm so interested to find out how Rose's adjustment will be.

I'm a bit nervous to see Emma's report card, but it can't be much worse than her mid-term card was.  I am sincerely hoping there's been improvement.  The thing that gets me the most about her schooling this year is the lack of teacher communication.  If my child is not performing where you think she should be, isn't it the teacher's job to tell me that?  To suggest more work at home, or other resources?  We had to call the school and ask about reading help, no one told us that resource was there.  And if you don't think she's struggling why did the "report card" suggest she's barely meeting the minimum requirements for her class?

Maybe I just don't understand fully how the schooling system works.

Anyway, on to my awesome compliment.

I was walking back from Emma's bus stop and I saw a neighbour friend coming out from her apartment across the street.  I could tell she wasn't sure it was me, so I took off my ballcap (it's sunny at the bus stop) and waved at her.  She changed direction so we could have a chat.

I caught up to her and she said "It is you!  I couldn't tell.  I was thinking 'Who's that young girl walking this way?'"  Isn't that awesome?  I'm wearing a dress she likely hadn't seen before, but still!  I was quite pleased.

I guess it's time to get ready for work.

Toodles!

Summer Is Here - Let The Relaxing Begin!

Okay so I really don't think relaxing is any more or less likely to happen in the summer.  I am just eternally happy that the intensive dance rehearsal/recital schedule is done.  And school is almost done.  I may even be able to re-set my alarm to give me 10 more precious minutes of sleep in the mornings...but Rose will still be up nice and early.

Our weekend went very smoothly.  Dance was watched, food was eaten, kids had fun - success all around.  Our next big job is replacing a section of our fence - although we're turning that into a backyard party as well (hopefully!)  We already have the fence all down, and the post people are coming next week to do the posts.  Canada Day is our fence party day - family is rallying around (and maybe a neighbour or two) and we'll have lot of eats to keep everyone fuelled.

Now Monday nights have no required pick ups.  I just get to go home after work - I'm not sure how I feel about that!  I was enjoying the no-rush, get-there-by-7 feeling of my Mondays.  Sometimes I took a walk, sometimes I read a book, and every time I didn't have to put Rose to bed.  It was Rosie-Daddy night.  Not sure what she's going to think about that either!

The only weekly thing we have on now is the Tuesday night Mode Elle business.  Emma's photos are this Saturday so I have to go through her clothes and pick out something cute (because not everything she owns is cute...) for mix and match with whatever stylist is there to make the final choices.  I may even have to get out my ironing board.  Yikes!

I feel like Emma's already super excited for her Dance Camp - she gets one full week off from school then she's there for a week (which required some work schedule tweaking for pick ups and drop offs) learning yet more dance and having a mini recital at the end.  I can't get over how much she loves it there!  It's a good thing, I know.

Anyway, gotta get ready for work - somehow that doesn't change much during the summer!  Leave me a comment about your summer schedules, or what you're looking forward to doing with the kids and family.

Toodles!

Power Outage Causes Bedtime Struggles, But All Is Resolved

Tonight Emma had her Mode Elle modelling/talent class.  Took Rose to a few stores, and changed her into jammies (in case she fell asleep in the car on the way home - she woke up at 5am today) while we waited big sis to finish.  I got a message from my neighbour asking if my power was out while we were "shopping."  Of course I wasn't home so, no idea!  Then hubby calls 10 minutes later to tell me he stopped at home between his day job and evening work and guess what! - The power's out.  Guess neighbour was right.

Kids were kind of intrigued by the idea of no power, until I explained to them what that meant.  No tv or movies when we get home (we wouldn't have done that anyway, as it's Rose's bedtime by the time we get home); no nightlights (catastrophe!); and - horror of horrors - no toasted english muffins or anything else that requires cooking.

The power was not on when we got home - nor was hubby still home to assist the power-less bedtimes.  The battery backups in the basement were beeping like crazy, and Emma wondered why the dryer was buzzing so often and, wait a minute, it doesn't take batteries, does it?  Sometimes the way her mind works astonishes me still.

Anyway, Rose got to bed okay - it was dark, she was worried about it, so we had to find flashlights because the light from the hallway was just not good enough tonight.  I actually managed to find a few, some with rechargable batteries - and luckily there were a few with enough charge to last a few minutes at least.  Once she accepted the scenario she was asleep quickly.

I was starting to get worried - Emma was wearing the battery down on my phone playing games and I was not really looking forward to straining to read by candle or flashlight as the sun went down.  My big plans for the night were blogging and having a Palm Bay while watching tv - with a chaser of going to bed by 9:30.  I know, exciting night, right?

Well, wonder of wonders, the power came back on about 15 minutes before Emma's bedtime.  So she finished wearing down my phone and then she went to bed - not much fuss, just a story and then some reading-on-her-own time.  So now I am living the dream, drinking my Palm Bay and watching some tv while blogging.  Life is good.  And it's not even 9pm!

Toodles!

Weekend anxiety

I felt a bit stressed out this past weekend.  Patrick was away Saturday, the girls didn't go to church Sunday, and I just felt so disconnected with everything.  I was at the end of my monthly "visitor" and the weather was all over the place and I had a few acute bouts of my "mom anxiety"as I like to call it.  You know, when you can't handle anything, especially related to your kids.  Like when they tell you they feel sick and then you're constantly "on" just waiting for the moaning and groaning or "Mom!  I'm gonna throw up!" and you can't sleep or do anything that requires attention because half your brain is occupied thinking about where the closest toilet is, or any other receptacle for catching the mess.  Ya, fun times.

My first "mom anxiety" involved taking the girls to the Tett so Rose can have her dance lesson.  The Tett Centre is a fabulous Kingston resource for anyone interested in arts.  Every Saturday they have a free drop-in session with an artist who has a studio in the centre.  It's kid oriented on Saturdays, but they are supposed to be running more adult geared stuff too.  Anyway, I can drop Emma off at art, then go upstairs with Rose and then go back to art while Rose is dancing.  For some reason this week being separated from Emma for so long (Rose and I were early for dance so we sat upstairs for a long time) caused me distress.  And I know, in my logical brain, that she's totally fine and she does this every week - the artists know her and know we are up at KSD - and there are other dance sibling there with and without parents, but my "mom brain" wouldn't stop dwelling on any- and everything that could be going on in the art area.  Of course, when I got down there she was fine and had done a ton of stuff,

Next item in the "mom anxiety" world was the sprinkler.  It was hot Saturday afternoon so we had the sprinkler out.  Lovely neighbour girl was visiting, got her swimsuit, everything was fine but I couldn't deal with the fact that they were barely in the sprinkler.  So I wanted to turn it off, but that made everyone mad.  So I tried to sit and read my book while they played willy-nilly in the yard and on the climber and in the sprinkler, but I could not focus on reading.  The girls were great, they played fine, they asked for freezies, they told me when they were done, but that still didn't quiet the nags inside my brain.  Maybe part of it was knowing I couldn't "tag out" and let Patrick watch them for a bit since he was working.  I don't know, but I do know that I could have been inside as I usually am when they're playing, but for some reason having the sprinkler out really amped up the anxiety.

There were Sunday episodes as well, but I don't want to bore you with all my personal issues.  I just need to talk about them sometimes.  Believe it or not it helps the anxiety to talk about it.  Especially to people who I may not even know, because who cares if you're judging me and my ridiculous brain?  Oh wait, my "mom anxiety" cares...

Toodles!

Happy Bedtimes Are Best

I'm finding the best time to write is between bedtimes.  As long as Patrick is home too, otherwise forget about taking 10 minutes for myself!  Rose starts her bedtime at 7 or so, and if she's having a good night we're done by 7:15 - but if it's a "bad" night (or I waited too long to start bed and she's overtired) it can be drawn out for 30 or 45 minutes.  On the bright side Emma is quite patient and easily entertained on those nights where I'm busy for-what-feels-like-ever with Food TV or YouTube or some other screen time thing.

I find it interesting how bedtime routines change over the small child lifetime.  I started this journey with a baby who would only nurse to sleep, and then would only stay asleep while being held - god forbid you set baby Emma down when you thought she was asleep.  A baby swing was a huge help, but you can't let your baby sleep in one of those all night!  Napping basically only happened in the car and we co-slept with her so she could nurse to sleep and then not be moved.  That was a rough habit to break, but looking back now I barely remember it.  Likely because she had a lot of endurance and would cry for an hour (or more) at night before she learned how to self soothe.  But she did, and now her "bedtime" is actually a very long process as she and Rose start at about the same time (7pm) but she isn't actually in bed ready to sleep until 8 or slightly after.  She usually has her Dad time where they read books together and then watch her cooking shows that she loves.  Once I'm done with Rose I can escape to my blog if there's time left, otherwise I watch a few minutes of tv with them and then read Emma a story or two, have "conversations" for a few minutes and then turn out her light - or at least say goodnight if she's not entirely tired and she'll "read" for a bit and turn out her own light when she's done.  The change is night and day with her.

Rose went the other way - she started out as a great baby.  You could nurse her, take her off, burp her, change her, whatever and she'd be happy to be laid down sleepy but awake and just nod off on her own.  We used a soother a bit with her but then she found her thumb, and now we're working at breaking that habit (although not too hard, yet.)  Then she got older and more demanding as a 2 and 3 year old where I got stuck reading 5 to 10 books a night, because I knew if I just read them I could then get out and move on to Emma - otherwise Rose would cry and carry on and keep coming out of her room and not sleeping.  I'd try occasionally to put my foot down, but the sad, teary face broke my heart every time and I'd give in.  But thankfully she's grown out of that phase and we are down to 2 books a night (3 if she chooses her "barn books" which are in a cardboard barn as a set so of course you have to read them all...) then kisses and goodnight.

Bedtime can be the sweetest time of day when you get one-on-on time with each child.  You can have a few quiet minutes talking about how the was and how you had fun together.  I know as they get older bedtimes will change again and they won't need the longer Mommy time and I will surely miss it.  I guess I'll have to try harder to soak it in and not rush through it as I'm wont to do on the million-story evenings.

Toodles!